We place staff in some of the finest homes in London, Dubai, and Monaco. And one of the most common requests we hear is: can you find us someone who'll stay? The families who keep their staff for years — sometimes decades — aren't necessarily the ones who pay the most. They're the ones who get the basics of good employment right.
Here's what we've learned from thirteen years of placing household staff about what makes people stay.
Money Matters, But It's Rarely the Reason People Leave
Let's get this out of the way: you need to pay fairly. A housekeeper in London should be earning £30,000 to £45,000 depending on experience and duties. A private chef, £40,000 to £70,000. If you're significantly below market rate, people will move on. Our salary guide has current benchmarks for every role.
But once you're paying a competitive salary, throwing more money at retention doesn't work nearly as well as you'd think. The staff who leave good positions usually cite the same handful of reasons — and none of them is the pay cheque.
Respect Is Not Optional
This sounds obvious. It isn't. The single biggest reason experienced household staff leave a position is feeling disrespected.
Nobody's shouting. It's rarely that obvious. What actually happens is more like this: the family discusses the housekeeper's performance over dinner while she's clearing the plates. Or instructions change three times in one morning and nobody explains why. Or the nanny is invisible when the in-laws visit but somehow expected to materialise the second a child cries. It sounds small. It adds up fast.
Good household staff are skilled professionals. Many have trained at formal institutions, worked in five-star hotels, or managed properties worth millions. Treat them like professionals and they'll perform like professionals. Treat them like part of the furniture and they'll start looking for the door.
Clear Boundaries, Especially for Live-in Staff
I once asked a live-in housekeeper in Hampstead what the hardest part of her job was. She didn't mention the ironing or the silver or the six-bedroom deep cleans. She said it was hearing the couple argue at midnight and then serving them breakfast like nothing happened. That's the reality of living in someone's home. Your nanny knows which child is struggling at school. Your chef knows the family ate cereal for dinner on Tuesday because everyone was too tired to care. You can't unsee any of it — and nobody tells you how to carry that.
This intimacy is part of what makes private service special, but it needs structure. The families who retain staff well are clear about:
Time off — and they actually respect it. If your housekeeper's day off is Sunday, don't text her at 2pm to ask where the spare towels are.
Private space — live-in staff need somewhere that's genuinely theirs. A room with a lock, decent wifi, and some privacy. Not a converted cupboard.
Boundaries with guests — your staff shouldn't have to navigate your house guests' expectations without your support.
Communication: Have the Conversation
Here's what thirteen years in this business has taught us: nine times out of ten, the problem isn't complicated. It's a ten-minute conversation that nobody wants to start. The family notices something but doesn't want to seem demanding. The housekeeper is frustrated but doesn't want to rock the boat. So it festers.
If the ironing isn't up to standard, say so directly and kindly. If you're changing your schedule, give as much notice as you can. If you're planning a big event, brief your staff properly rather than springing it on them.
And critically: ask for feedback. How are they finding the role? Is there anything they need? What would make their job easier? You don't have to act on every request, but the act of asking signals that you value them as a person, not just a service provider.
Career Development Exists in Private Service
One perception we work hard to challenge is the idea that private household work is a dead end. It isn't — if the employer supports growth.
Send your chef on a specialist course. Support your nanny's continuing professional development. If your housekeeper wants to move into a house manager role, discuss what that path looks like and help them get there.
Some of the best staff we've placed have grown within a family — the nanny who became a family PA, the housekeeper who now manages three properties, the chef who trained in patisserie on the family's sponsorship. These relationships last because both sides invested in them.
The Small Things That Add Up
After the big stuff — fair pay, respect, boundaries, communication — it's often the small gestures that create loyalty:
- Remember birthdays and work anniversaries
- A thoughtful Christmas bonus (one month's salary is standard in our sector)
- A genuine thank you after a big event or a particularly demanding week
- Including staff in family celebrations when appropriate
- Being flexible when they need time for personal matters
When to Call Us
If you're losing staff regularly, something systemic is wrong. We can help diagnose it — sometimes the issue is the role structure, sometimes it's the job description, and occasionally it's a conversation the family needs to have with itself.
We'd rather help you keep great staff than keep replacing them. That's better for everyone.