By former psychiatrist, now coach, Dr. Lucy Davey
We’re very excited to announce that we have collaborated with OptiMUM, the bespoke coaching program for new and expectant mothers who are looking to find a balance between their careers children and personal life. Here, founder, Dr Lucy Davey explains how OptiMUM started and the benefits of seeking help from a coach.
I made it my mission as a medically qualified doctor, who has extensively trained in psychiatry, to provide a truly bespoke three-month coaching program for high net worth women new to motherhood. I knew all too well the physical and emotional torments and challenges ahead when taking on the most difficult new job on earth—motherhood. Life would never be the same again.
Despite our modern society encouraging us to share the childcare workload and the burden of responsibility whilst being a mother, the reality is that many women still continue to compare themselves to the images of perfect mothers who seemingly manage it all. No matter how much practical support is available, the ‘motherhood myth’ and the concept of ‘mother guilt’ haunts most. Although feeling unhappy, many mothers persevere. And because they don’t identify and act upon what they are feeling, all too often frustration, anger and resentment follow. Poor decision-making during this sensitive period can have devastating effects. Career prospects may fall by the wayside, and friendships and family relationships can become permanently damaged. Many marriages inevitably break up with children being forced to live in separate households.
I would suggest that investing in yourself is equally as important as investing in your children’s education. We all want to give our children an environment where they will develop and flourish in childhood and go on to lead fulfilling lives. Content, consistent parents and a stable home environment are very important.
I knew expecting to be ‘at my best’ simply wasn’t the answer and would inevitably lead to me feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. Finding and maintaining ‘my optimum’ on the other hand was the solution. Parenthood, like marriage and a career, is a long-term game. Finding what is sustainable without diminishing physical and mental well-being is, therefore, key to leading a fulfilling life.
I absolutely love my job. A big part of my program is addressing mother’s guilt, and I use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy early on to ensure other techniques including resilience and transformational work can progress. The client is always at the centre of my coaching; by encouraging and supporting the client to come to their own conclusions based on our sessions, it makes direction and changes all the more effective in the long run. Recovering a previous identity, or in some cases exploring a new one, creating a supportive relationship with your partner, and above all enjoying parenting whilst still maintaining a career or role outside motherhood are vitally important to the modern woman’s persona.
For anyone reading this article, my biggest tip would be for all mothers to learn to be kinder to themselves.
Dr Lucy Davey helps professional and executive women adjust to the role of motherhood while pursuing their career goals through recovering their identity, creating a supportive relationship with their partner and enjoying parenting.
Head to https://optimumparent.coach to find out more and quote Irving Scott for a free consultation.